During 25 years of Putin’s government, my country was continuously being destroyed. The culture, economy, political system and ecology are destroyed. Factories and housings are demolished and not reconstructed to produce goods or serve as new homes for people. Destinies are destroyed, people are imprisoned or killed and ones who are alive emigrated abroad or were brainwashed with propaganda, convincing them that the destruction is for blessing. The final point became the war in Ukraine that kills thousands of innocent people, separates them from home countries and collapses everything. I do not recognise people, places and institutions that have been my country and my home. Who are these people that destroyed my home? Did I elect them? When you are a child, global issues andinternal problems stay in shadow. Life seems infinite and carefree, filled with vivid memories and exciting adventures. The reality sets in when adolescence is over, while your country goes into a bloody war and yesterday’s kid dives into adulthood distanced from family and home. Later on, they understand that time and place was an illusion, a kid’s’ perception, almost artificially created reality in a child's head that was ruined one day. Would it be possible to return to my country that never existed?